so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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