how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
