my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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