we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize