like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
