what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
she told me i tasted like america
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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