Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
