Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
