So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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