so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
