I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
