Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
