This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
whose parrot is this?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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