I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
