why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
