Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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