I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
