everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
