how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize