Your face is a jimmy john
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
