Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I have aggressive nipples.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
