Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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