yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
