Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
