New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Still dying that you shit outside
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
