I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
