I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
