You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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