I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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