I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
