A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
We don't watch enough power rangers
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
