whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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