3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
