WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
