my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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