I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
