exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I need to calm my uterus...
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
