i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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