i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
