none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
