Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize