i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
