how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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