is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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