Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
