i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
