I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
