Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
