Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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