Who wears a wallet chain?!
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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