I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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