your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
