NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
