so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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