I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Randomize
