What a fucking waste of an outfit
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Pants are for mortals
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
