Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
