how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
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