summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
