Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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