And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
