Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
